Thursday, November 8, 2012

What to say....

Ok...so it's been a few weeks since I've been on here and well...it's just the way life works.  I love to write, type, vent, whatever I do on here...and since lately I don't see what my purpose is in life...well I've neglected my blog.

When I first started "Always Just A Mom" I was a stay at home mom who wanted to have an outlet.  I was a stay at home mom who was pretending to be happy on the outside but I was miserable on the inside.  I blamed not having a job, I blamed having two boys so close together in age, I blamed us not having enough money, I blamed my house, I blamed everyone else...

I've started to realize that some of that miserableness was created by others but some of it was created by me.  This last year has been one of the most difficult, stressful, overwhelming, freeing, exciting and life changing I've ever had.  I have a new job, I live back home (with my parents and two boys), we have a new dog, I have a new vehicle (Honda Odyssey...2012...silver...awesome...always wanted a mini-van), I have new leadership roles with United Methodist Women and I even have a part time job now.  I'm not sure how I will get everything done, but I'm going to keep moving forward.

One of the biggest obstacles I've realized in this whole process is me.  I am my own worse enemy.  I am the one that says, "You can't do that."  "Give up."  "It's ok...he's just stressed."  NO...it's not ok, I won't give up and I don't care if he's stressed or not...I've stayed at home with two toddlers all day...suck it up buttercup!"  But I let people walk all over me, I let myself become a victim of circumstance, and I allowed my children to witness that happen.

What I've learned over the last year.  Boys need their moms!  Boys need positive male and female role models and hopefully those are their parents, but sometimes it doesn't happen that way!  My boys need to see women lifted up and strong and independent.  They need to understand why it's ok to hold doors open for ladies, pick up the bill and tell a girl she looks beautiful after she just got done at the gym.  They need their moms to show, tell, explain and model what it means to be a woman of God, so that when they are seeking out their life partner they know what to look for.

I'm rambling on there tonight...I'm exhausted...I'm ready for bed.  But I just wanted to let those sweet random people who check my blog know that I'm alive and well and moving forward!!!  Giddy Up!

Monday, August 6, 2012

A New Kind of Normal

So I've decided to just realize that my life is going to have to have a new kind of normal.  UGH...I feel like I'm always in a state of transition but at least this time it was my own choice...amazing what a little control will do to this woman!

Ok...so life...transitions...control....

1.  I close on my new house next Friday!  Yup...that's the plan...but what stands in the way of final loan approval.  Well that would be my ex-husband.  Yup...he's filed all the paperwork to get my name of the two loans (home and vehicle) but it's taking FOREVER.  I need paperwork to the bank by Friday stating my name is no longer on either of these loans...I hate when my life decisions are at the mercy of people I don't even know how to contact.

2.  My job...although awesome...is becoming VERY overwhelming.  I'm out of the office but in the office.  Huh you say?!  Well I have a week of training in the building where my office is housed, but I don't have time to get work done, but I still have everyone calling and emailing me because I have a JOB to do!?!  Looks like I might be working a little late tomorrow...yup that's how I roll.

3.  Dating...What!?!  WHAT?!?!  Did this woman just say dating?  The one is just announced her divorce but a month ago.  Well yes, yes, I did.  Let me be frank when I say...I'm not a fan.  I want the attention, the companionship, the (well you know)...but at the same time it's exhausting.  I m ean at this point in my life I read into everything and dating is a whole lot different now than it was 6 years ago (read between the lines...pre-K...aka...pre kids).  I have an entrouge now when it comes to dating (FYI...I'm not currently dating anyone...but this is a topic that fills my mind and consumes my thoughts...because now I feel like it's dating 3 not just 1 and when do you introduce the person to the kids, and when is it appropriate to let your ex know you're seeing someone and that you're going to introduce the kids to that someone...although part of me would love to be dating this super hot guy who adores me and just worships the ground I walk upon and then my ex husband realizes that I adored him, and worshiped the ground he walked upon and he had a pretty good life but decided to continue his really bad habits (of being a bully)!

So...this week...top 3-closing on a house, my job and dating...my kids will be back home in two weeks (thank GOD) and I think that I feel more at peace when I'm responsible for the day to day activities and knowing that they are with me the majority of the week (please note that I do not believe this to be true because I'm the mom...but because I believe I'm the better parent...there are many dad's who deserve more time with their kids, less drama from their kids mom and probably deserve to have more of the custody....that is not the case in my situation...so please do not think I'm bashing dads, or single dads).

Ok...all for tonight...I would really like to be more connected again to the blog world...it's just so much to juggle right now!!!  Good night world!??!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Not Enough....

OK...so I thought there was not enough time in a day when I was staying at home...holy Hannah (forgive me any Hannah's that read my blog) there is really not enough time in the day!

I can barely get everything I need to do to keep up in my work life let alone a personal life (HAHAHA) but just trying to accomplish simple tasks (i.e. oil changes) seem so cumbersome now!

Believe me stay at home mom's are WORKING MOMS, probably a lot harder working than I am in my 7:30-4:30pm job...but trying to balance a career, a home (which I'm technically not even doing yet), my church life, a few odd jobs on the side and a personal life (hahahaha) it's exhausting!

So...how does one do all this?  Guess I'm just gonna have to find out...right?

Friday, July 13, 2012

TGIF...has a whole new meaning now!

Friday's have a whole new meaning to me now...at least until August 17th.  Biscuit and String Bean spend Sunday night-Friday evening at their dad's house and I get them three weekends a month.  Having gone from spending every waking moment with them, to transitioning back to work and seeing them only in the evenings, to now spending just Friday evening (in a car), all day Saturday, and most of the day Sunday with them it has been a huge transition!

How does a mom who has done everything for her boys relinquish that control, especially when she is a bit of a control freak?!  It's difficult.  It's only done through prayer and great friends and family.  I'm so thankful to have people in my life that keep me busy to keep my mind off of their every movement.  I do get to speak to them each evening around 7:30pm but if you have, or had, a 3 and 4 year old then you realize how productive those conversations are going to be.

What is so frustrating with this arrangement, besides them not being here with me, is the level of care.  Their dad and I parent so differently, and although some would say one is not right or wrong, when you're the one who does not get to actively parent you think the other is wrong.  It could be worse...and I realize that...but it's so frustrating.  See I know the impact of TV, poor food choices and a general disregard for discipline.  You can't be a "Disney Daddy" five days a week when you're working and they are there in the evenings.  It was easier to deal with reprogramming them when they were only in that environment for two days...but now it's five days and it's much harder.  They are dealing with culture shock every time they come to my house or go to their dad's house...how does one minize that?

I know that if they don't eat their green beans and watch a little extra TV it's not going to kill them...but it shapes who they are, doesn't it?  I just have to keep telling myself that I get them 9 months and they are only there 3 months...but even their child care facility doesn't seem to mind using the TV and not providing fresh fruits and veggies daily.  (See...the school my boys go to had a garden this summer and they used that for their science lessons as well as cooking and eating...they also purchase fresh local fruit each week for their meals...plus they do not use TV unless it's a horribly rainy day!?!?!  Such a different environment!!!)

Tonight I will see my pumpkins at 6pm.  I will get to pick them up, they will be super excited to spend the weekend with me and then on Sunday I will leave my heart again with them as they head to their "summer home".  I never wanted this life for myself or my children.  I didn't want to share custody (I don't always play well with others!)  I didn't want to deal with holidays and missing out...but I guess that is where I'm at.  This is what happens and I continue to remind myself they will be raised in an environment where they witness less emotional abuse and in an environment where they see how a woman should be loved, respected and treated!!!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Wo Dang...

Ya so the last post...just sort of threw it all out there.  So..."Always Just A Mom" has a whole new meaning now.

1.  I'm "Always Just A Mom" no matter what my relationhip status is and who I am with.

2.  I'm "Always Just A Mom" even if I work outside the home and try to balance being a mom and a professoinal.

3.  I'm "Always Just A Mom" even if I have to share custody and don't have my boys with me every day and every night.

So over the next few days I'm going to look at these different roles.  What it's like to be a single mom (something I never thought would happen to me), working full time and taking care of two toddlers and also trying to balance a relationship with my ex and maintain positive parenting techniques. 

No matter what...I'm "Always Just a Mom". 

Many of you who have read my blog in the past remember me staying at home, starting an online business and just trying to be the "perfect" wife.  Many of people who have read my blog and who know me thought the same thing...there was a lot of my life I covered up, kept guarded and was too embarssed to share.  You don't want to publicize the negative, you want to focus on the positive and so many of the blogs I read made me feel inadequate.  Not on purpose of course, just realizing my life in my blog was a lot prettier than the life I was actually living.

I was fairly honest about staying at home but there were many days I wanted to rip my hair out.  I missed being at work, I missed the connection I had with other professionals and I missed feeling important.  I know that staying at home with your kids is ideal but guess what...it doesn't work for everyone.  Will there be days I wish for my stay at home schedule again...sure...but there will never be days I will miss the relationship I was in, there will not be days I wish to raise my boys where there was yelling and disrespect going on. 

Life is messy and sometimes in "Blogger Land" we don't show the messy, we don't think about the messy and we don't want to admit the messy.  I will not get into the details of my messy life because that's not what I want this blog to be about.  I want to continue focusing on my kids and my life as a mom.

This blog is going to be about the challenges and perks of being a single, working mom and that even thought it's not the optimal situation it's still one that can work.

I hope you will continue with me on this journey of parenting, crafting, cooking and now balancing all that with a professional life...stay tuned...ya never know what's gonna happen next!  The beauty of being a mom!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Where did you go???

OK...so it's been 9 months, where did I go?!  Well life has thrown a few curve balls my direction...here's the bullet version...

October 2011:   I seperated from my husband, who then filed for divorce...

November 2011-January 2012:  Moved in with my parents, 2 hours from our home with the boys.  Tried to celebrate the holidays with an Order of Protection in place and having to drive my children to their dad's house every weekend.  Started looking for a job.

February 2012:  Started a new job.

March 2012:  Quit first job and started another new job...

April 2012:  Still driving the boys every weekend (yes...this went on for almost 8 months) and now in the middle of a sticky divorce/custody battle.

May 2012:  Loving my new job, boys are loving their new daycare and life is moving forward.

June 2012:  Beginning of the month finally decide to talk to husband, get the Parenting Plan in place and now look like I'm moving forward.  In June I also found a house, put an offer and they accepted it?!?! 

July 6, 2012:  Divorce is final.  The boys get to spend the weekdays with their dad in the summer...we're still trying to find a new normal...but life is looking up.

So...with all of that I'm now excited to get back to blogging!  I was refraining from doing it (per attorney's suggestion) but it looks like we'll get it back in order.  Of course with all these life changes it looks like my blog is going to shape up a little different...but again...I'm "ALWAYS JUST A MOM"!!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

WOOOO HOOOOO



Look what I did!??!?!  I made the cut!  I'm one of the 12 Contestants competing in One Month To Win It!!!  Sooooo excited...you can check out all the contests on their blog!!!  It's gonna be exciting...I already have the supplies for my first craft and will be getting it done next weekend when I'm back at home in my craft room!!!

I'll keep you posted on voting dates and everything else...of course it's anayomous during the voting process so I won't tell you which craft is mine...but hopefully I'll do ok!!!  Sooooo excited...being forced to craft for a month...oh the terror!!!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend...I've got some great pictures of the boys so I'll be doing a picture post this weekend!!! 

Sunday, October 9, 2011

No regrets...

Well we just finished celebrating Biscuit's third birthday...I officially have a 3 and 4 year old.  It's always bitter sweet because it's just happening all too quickly (which I can say at 11:30pm, while they are in bed and not yelling, running or doing something naughty)!

We're at my parents for the next two weeks so I'm sure I'll have some very interesting "Blog Posts" but we're here to help my mom and it's giving my husband and his mom some time to "transition." My MIL moved in last weekend (10/1/11) and we're all adjusting and it's going well...but I think it will be good for them to spend some time together without all the drama that two toddlers and a wife can add.  Hopefully it will work out ok.

Whenever I'm at my parents I become very reflective...one I think I just have more "free time" and two I think it gives me  more time to think about my life when I'm not living it daily.  My mom said tonight, "Have no regrets.  I have many and I don't want you to feel like this when you're 60." and at first I just brushed it off but I think it's great advice.  Have no regrets.  I think sometimes we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life we don't sit down and reflect on what's happening around us, to us and between us...so I'm really going to do my best to make sure I have no regrets!

Alright...other than that I'm also going to my first weight watchers meeting tomorrow night (as a guest) and see how that goes...I gotta get back on the wagon and I really do feel weight watchers is a very smart and healthy way to lose those pounds!  Good night, have a great week  and to any and all my Canadian Followers...Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Fun With Etsy

Ok Always Just A Mom readers I have decided to do a "Fun With Etsy" page on my blog.  I'm going to feature stores, have coupon codes and just put some fun stuff up each month!  I will do a post about any store that wants to offer a coupon code for Always Just A Mom readers (go check it out...already two codes) with a direct link to their etsy store.

If you're interested in being part of my "Fun with Etsy" page just contact me at alwaysjustamom@hotmail.com and we'll get you on our page!  Free advertising never hurt anyone!!!  Also don't forget the advertising opportunities on my sidebar...there are 2 spots still open at an amazing price!!!

Let's support show our support for these crafters and small business owners!!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Coupon Code: Pinch & Pull Neckware

That's right you fantastic Always Just A Mom readers...Michael over at Pinch & Pull Neckware has got a deal for you!  Right now Always Just A Mom readers can use the coupon code:   AJAMom25 and get 25% OFF your order!  HELLO!?!?!  Did you read this....25% off your order!  Get out of town this is very exciting...I mean look what you could get:






All of Michael's Bow Ties are self-tie bow ties and are produced by hand by him. Each order includes instructions on how to tie a bow tie.  I love his quote:

"The majority of men who wear bow ties do so because the majority of men do not."
You can get the men in your life a tie for Christmas or just for fun!  Plus with the 25% coupon you're getting a heck of a deal for a handmade bow tie!  Can't wait to get some ties for my little guys!!!


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Another One Bites the Dust....

I had all these awesome ideas to do the 31 days of...ha!  Well my 31 Days has become a month of craziness. 

We're home right now but will be movin' in with the rents for a few weeks.  Basically 2 weeks there, one weekend home, a week there, weekend home, a week there until November 4th.  My mom had surgery and needs me to help her out so of course at my current Stay At Home Mom status it is totally easy for me to be able to do that for her...and of course it also means I'm gonna get some of my Christmas projects done (dare I say this out loud as I could curse myself)!

We did make it to the zoo today for a quick Fall Trip (our favorite time of year)!  We saw the new baby elephant:




The new baby lion cub made her first public appearance today (just lucky):




There were also other new baby animals new Gazelle (born last Sunday, she was already out with mom at 2 days old) and the Baby Rhino (born in June) so we've had a very active Zoo!  It was a great day to be at the zoo.

Things may get a little naked on here in the upcoming weeks but I'll do my best to let you all know what's goin' on and if any fun little projects get done!!!  Got a fun announcement for tomorrow from one of my sponsor's...don't forget to come back by!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Helping Out

This week I've been visiting with my mom because she had surgery last Monday.  She's recovering well but the boys and I came to help her out...so far we've worked on a few sewing projects, got pedicures and well relaxed....it's been really nice.

We've got some fun plans the rest of this week but that means I'm not going to be able to keep up with posting!  I have lots of time to get orgainzed and plan for October!  I'm going to be linking up with the Nesting Place and doing the 31 Days of Change.  I've decided on my topic but you're going to have to wait until October 1 to see what we'll be changing/learning/covering the month of October!

There are some changes coming and I'm excited...my first big change...today while getting a pedicure I decided not to get the same color I always get (Chick Flick Cherry) but got this funky green/aqua/teal color.  LOVE IT!  Sometimes we just need to change it up!!!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Fall Fun-Point of View

I am so excited to be one of the guest crafters this month on Point of View!  It's really an honor and I hope my "craft" was up to snuff!  These ladies keep me motivated and inspired each month and I was really excited to be the guest crafter for September because the theme is AUTUMN!!!  MY FAVORITE season!!!


Don't forget to go over to Gwen's blog here to link up your own Autumn themed craft today!!!

I decided I needed something more brown, orange and red for our backdoor...then realized I might not love it on the backdoor...but will love it hanging in our kitchen!!  (I'm also thinking how to make one for each season...then I can just rotate the hanging each season!)

So I gathered my supplies:

Not shown is the Martha Stewart glue and sealer I used as well as the E600 adhesive, but both were also needed for this project.

I first laid down my small project drop cloth (aka-old pillow case) and gave the canvas a coat of the nutmeg brown paint.
I then painted the wood letter RED.  OH my LORD how they were red...way too red...really...too much, but I still had some brown paint...hmmm?

Yup...after they dried from that RED, I painted them brown and then scuffed them up with some sandpaper...which really was scary and fun.  This is the first time I've done something like that with paint (I need to be a bigger risk taker...seriously).  It really gave it a nice "distressed" look and showed some of the red undertones...seriously that was RED!


OK so then I debated and debated and debated and moved and debated on leaf placement.  It's funny how when you're trying to make something look carefree and natural you spend more time on making that look happen.  So, I left it alone (read this as had to go deal with some toddlers who were running around crazy).  When the hubs got home I made my final leaf placement decision and just covered the entire canvas in the Martha Stewart glue and sealer.


I laid the leaves and I did not want to seal the leaves because I wanted them to stand up a little...not sealing them to the canvas gave them a more flowing look.  They have stayed on just fine and I really like the effect that it created....I attached the wood letters with the E6000 (do this in a well ventilated area...seriously...ouch) and DONE:


I used my handy, dandy staple gun and attached some orange ribbon and it's now hanging in our front room.  It's a great burst of color!!!

Head over and link up your own Point Of View for Autumn at Gwenny Penny today!!


Point of View: A Creative Collaboration,a creative collaboration,point of view,point of view a creative collaboration

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Success?

Hmmm...success it comes in so many different forms. 
Success...I have a great job!!! Staying at home and trying to start a business.
Success...I made dinner.
Success...I have an amazing husband and two beautiful, healthy, trying, challenging, unique children.
Success...I have desire, passion and excitment

Fail...I don't get any vacation or sick days with my job and well starting a small business and trying to develop a blog...well lets just say there is a LEARNING CURVE!

Fail...dinner was good but I didn't eat any because I was dealing with the kiddos (hubs working late) so second great dinner of the week I missed and well ate leftover mashed potatoes.

Fail...my husband's job (which so successful and a huge blessing) has kept him gone a lot lately.  My kids are hitting an age where there is a delicate balance of independence, smarty pants, and blatant disobedience.

Fail...I am lacking motivation.

You must have Ying with Yang....so I couldn't experience all the success without some failure right?  I found this great quote on pinterest last night and well I guess it's how I'm going to try to start looking at some of those "failures."

On Hand Modern blog

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Future Gleek!?!

This was just too good to not post today!  I was watching my DVR'd GLEE and my youngest was playing but during every song he had to join in and dance, dance, dance.  This is his version of tappin'!

video

American Crafter?

So I'm super excited I decided to enter the American Crafter Competition over at Naptime Crafters.  I'm super nervous because I would love to be on of the contestants, but we'll see.  It seems like this summer has been so busy and well...this will give me some focus and determination to really get some more crafts finished up! 

I'm really happy that my actual craft room is put back together!?!  You might remember the picture from last week:
So this was the state in which my craft table looked...I didn't even take a picture of the rest of the room as we are changing out our Air Conditioner (FINALLY...one year later...I've had two AC housing thingys (technical term of course) in my craft room...one physically blocking my standing cabinet) and I think I might have had some laundry on the floor.  But...after all that work...this is what my room looks like now:

Everything has a place...all those boxes under the table are  my "shipping" boxes.  Some may say I have a hoarding problem (some being my husband) but hello reuse and don't have to pay for boxes?!  If you refer to the above picture you will also notice that all that STUFF is now in an actual location and I can see my table again!  PRAISE the LORD!


See the tall cabinet on the right...yes...that would be the cabinet that has been blocked for over a year.  I would literally have to squeeze to get in there...so frustrating.  Now...I can open the door the entire way!  Life is good!  This is a great counter because I can stand and work over my projects...love that the husband made and painted this for me.  I'm thinking I am going to add a little curtain to the bottom just to "girl" it up a bit...we'll see what I can come up with to match that brick red color.

Trying to take a picture of my craft room and well my ham (Biscuit) kept saying "Cheese" so I had to take a picture of that sweet little face...come on!  Hello...Always Just A Mom...gotta pay attention to those little voices!
This is some art work from the Bean and Biscuit.  I decided to just tack it up to the side of my cabinet.  Gave me something more to look at and it's fun to see their works of art in my craft studio!  Love that turkey on top!

So...now that the crafting room is clean, I've entered the American Crafter (the project I entered will be posted on Friday...as part of the Point of View post...so excited to see what else those ladies created!!!), and now have all my supplies organized I better get started on actually making stuff!!!! 

Ok...gotta get to craftin', mom'n and well life in general!

PS...if you saw the comment posted from Cap Creations...I just won a $75 mixed bag certificate....hello...CHRISTMAS presents...you'll be getting done ASAP!!!  LOVE me some Giveaways!!!